Wasabi Nights

Ten Things Men Do That Are....Ugly

This man needs no explanation.  Plumber's crack, mullets, etc. are all ugly and I do not need to bore you with the details.  However, here are ten things I commonly see men do that are less obvious; but still ugly.

1.  When wearing shorts with boxers or boxer briefs, please sit carefully.  Consider viewer's angle and your leg position. 

2.  Swearing loudly.  Profanity is not something I endorse, but as a realist, I also understand it has a place in adult culture.  Swearing loudly however is just plain ugly.  Control yourself.

3.   Crossing your legs is fine, especially if you are wearing finer clothing.  However, cross your legs in such a way that we still believe you are anatomically a man.

4.  If your pants or jeans are frayed at the hem (and it's not an intentional fashion statement), they aren't pants anymore, they have become long cut-offs. 

5.  If your shoes used to be one color and are now a variety of colors/shades; it's time to polish or replace them.

6.  When you buy new shoes, it's best to buy a new coordinating belt.  Nothing looks worse than new shoes and a tired belt (or vice verse). 

7.  If you tend to sweat a lot, I suggest you invest in high quality undershirts.  They will help you look better and will absorb the majority of your perspiration; so the rest of us don't have to.

8.  If you have really hairy toes, please don't wear open toed sandals around people who don't know, and love you.  Your hairy toes scare us.

9.  When you tuck your shirt in, don't stuff it in your pants.  Put your shirt on, smooth it out all around you.  Then, pull your pants up, zip, button and belt.  STOP!  Don't futz with your shirt.  Just walk around the room twice and it will naturally un-tuck enough for comfort.  Men who fiddle with their shirt look like they are wearing a blouse.

10.  Big, baggy, clothing doesn't really look good on anyone.  It doesn't hide extra pounds, it adds them (unfairly).  And for you skinny guys, it doesn't make you look more muscular, it just makes you look sloppy.

I say all this with love and respect.  I just want you to look your best!

-Lisa Bruckner, Trunk Club Expert

How to correctly pronounce 'wasabi'

While I don't look Japanese and at five foot ten I pretty much defy any possibility of being Japanese, I am indeed half Japanese.  Raised by a native speaker, I grew up in America hearing the correct pronunciation of many commonly used Japanese words: futon, tofu, sushi, wasabi, etc.  The interesting part is as a child, I didn't always connect the American pronunciation with the Japanese word.  For example, my camp counselor in fourth grade was nicknamed "Tofu" pronounced in America as Toe-foo.  The correct pronunciation is To-u-fhoo.  The "fhoo" part is more a quick breath out.  The children at camp teased me because I didn't know what tofu was and many didn't believe I was actually Japanese!

This lovely game has continued into my adult life; most surprisingly with the name of my blog Wasabi Nights.  When I first named the blog and mentioned it to people, they didn't understand what I meant.  I would raise my eyebrows in surprise and say "Wasabi.  It's the green paste you eat with sushi."  The response was always the same: "oh, you mean wasabi!" 

Confused?  I was, until I realized my correct pronunciation was incorrect for American vernacular.  Wasabi is correctly pronounced "wa-sa-bee."  It's pronounced in an elegantly, quick manner.  Wa! Sa! Bi!  Americans however pronounce it "wu-saaaw-bee" and heavy on the "wasssup" part. 

I had to practice over and over saying it the American way to help avoid confusion!  The way I remember is to think of those silly Budweiser "Wassuuuuup!" commercials back in 1999.  However, when I am tired or am distracted; my mental homing device kicks in and I forget the American pronunciation and have to ask someone how to pronounce it.  People always look at me as if I have lost my marbles.

So, today's post (while I work on writing up some of the amazing interviews I have done this week with successful men), is about educating you so I no longer have to mangle my culture's language!

How can this help you look your best?  When enjoying sushi or when dining with the Japanese, you can impress and show respect by saying "please pass the wasabi (wa! sa! bi!)."

-Lisa Bruckner Trunk Club Expert

Dressing Well is Only Half the Work

The well dressed man who has successfully mastered how to look good is welcomed everywhere.  Or is he?  Getting dressed is only half the work. 

The other day, I noticed an especially well dressed man.  From a distance, he caught my eye immediately.  He looked polished, handsome and successful.  His clothing, accessories and body language spoke confidence and I was intrigued to meet him.  However, as I moved closer to introduce myself, three things turned me away. 

I could smell his coffee breath from two arm's lengths away.  When this man spoke, his words were lost in stale Starbucks.

His hands were strong and handsome emerging from perfect cuffs.  However his fingernails were jagged as if a child had trimmed them.  Perhaps he used the bite and rip method?

Lastly, the man was self-indulgent and disrespectful.  After he answered a call on his cell phone loud enough for a large audience, he continuously interrupted his caller's conversation:  "Let me tell you..." and "I know, I know..." and "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think..."  Additionally, he loudly bragged during his conversation how much his latest toy acquisition cost and how expensive his shoes were.

I was not the only one who noticed.  The eyes darting and rolling around the room were like ping pong balls let loose.  My point in sharing this observation, is to remind men, and people in general how little things can make a big impact.  While writing this article, I found it difficult to recall the positive things about this man.  My lasting impression was: no thank you.  While this man had a buffet of problems, even one of these things could be a deal breaker.  Such as it was, I didn't ask this man for an interview and I didn't take his photo (despite his amazing clothing).

Men, when dressing for success, please keep your body in mind: body odor, body language and body maintenance (including your posture!).  Dressing like a modern gentleman is only half the part.  Behaving and grooming like a gentleman can make or break your outfit.  See How to be a Modern Gentleman for more helpful tips.

-Lisa Bruckner Trunk Club Expert

How to be a Modern Gentleman

Yesterday, I interviewed etiquette guru Mindy Lockard to discuss ways to be a modern gentleman. 

Many men are confused or nervous to behave like gentlemen for fear of accidentally patronizing liberated women.  My definition of a true gentleman extends far beyond the ideals of holding the door open for women.  I believe a gentleman is a man who genuinely makes others feel comfortable, respected and at ease regardless of their gender or station in life.  Mindy agreed.

Mindy said "chivalry isn't dead, it's just on life support."  Here is a summary of what we discussed and Mindy's tips for how you can be a modern gentleman.

1. Show respect equally between men and women.  Hold the door open for the person behind you, not just the woman.
2. Make eye-contact with everyone you interact with; it's the foundation of showing respect.
3. On a date, it's all about the offer.  May I get the door for you?  May I help you with your chair?  Let your date decide yes or no.  Its a win-win situation for both of you, even if she decides to answer no.
4. Be a good listener, especially when networking.  Ask meaningful questions after an introduction to discover how your lives fit together.  There is no networking gain when the other person is annoyed with your selfish banter.
5. At a dinner party, take care to talk to the people sitting on both sides of you.
6. Be mindful of the words you choose.  Poor language, especially Mr. Potty Mouth are most often associated with a lack of intelligence.
7. Each week read a national publication (e.g. Wall Street Journal) and a local publication. A well-read, informed man can enlighten his conversations with witty, intelligent, vocabulary and will always have something to say, or ask about, to ignite interesting discussion.
8. Gentlemen are not afraid to say they don't know something and to ask for more information.  His humility is engaging and enables him to learn and grow much more than Mr. "Know it All."
9. Remember names.  Stop apologizing and instead listen.  If you truly can't remember, simply say "please tell me your name again."  There is no need to go overboard apologizing.  Don't make it all about you.
10. Be aware of good service and quality and extend a gracious note or comment to thank people for their effort.  A true gentleman makes the time to send a written thank you for exceptional service.
11. Be mindful of your electronics.  Don't insult the intelligence of the people sitting with you when you assume you are fooling them as you check your email under the table.
12. Be mindful of your voice.  Voice control goes a long way.  A gentleman doesn't talk loudly to show how important he is.
13. When wearing a suit, please remember your jacket and pants go together; you can unbutton it, but please keep your jacket on.  A true gentleman is willing to be a little uncomfortable for the sake of a respectably, polished appearance.
14. The most important part of being a modern gentleman is to remember why you want to be a gentleman.  Is it to show consideration for others or simply to show off?

I recently enrolled in Mindy's on-line etiquette magazine Manner of the Month.  While I am fortunate to have been raised in a well mannered home, it's always nice to keep up with the latest etiquette rules, especially for the sake of my children. Good manners are good business.  And when all else fails, a well mannered person is remembered well.

-Lisa Bruckner Trunk Club Consultant